Author Archives: deanwebb

The Chocolate Bomber

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Yes, such a person exists. During the Berlin Airlift, Gail Halvorsen took it upon himself to drop chocolate bars and gum on kids that watched the planes land at Tempelhof. I think that’s totally cool. His action inspired others to think of the kids and to donate their rations of chocolate and gum for the kids of West Berlin.

More than that, Halvorsen’s actions showed what can be done if we think of things greater than profits: freedom and compassion. We all are capable of volunteering and donating and visiting and encouraging. When I see what is wrong in the world, it is in people that have forgotten the most important things we can do. To remind them, it is not enough to say what needs to be done. Actions will show the way to what is better.

Gail Halvorsen did a great thing. Never mind the names of dictators or other monsters in our history books: in a better world, it is the names of people like Halvorsen that we will remember – not because we have to learn them, but because we want to learn them.

So here’s a link to a wonderful documentary of Col. Halvorsen and his inspiring actions. It’s an hour well worth spending, and it sure as heck beats listening to the recent waves of hot air blasting from the left and the right. This one arrives cool and refreshing, straight down the middle. Inspiring Lives: Gail Halvorsen

That Progressive Insurance Thing…

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For those that missed it, the basic story goes thusly: reckless driver kills a woman in her car. She has a $100,000 policy with Progressive for death or disability due to a vehicular accident. Progressive not only questions negligence without a court ruling against the other driver, it represents that other driver in court in that very negligence case.

To be sure, Progressive claims it was only looking out for its interests in the case and not really representing the other driver, but to represent its interests it worked to find that driver not negligent. This is not what corporations should do. Yes, they can do it, but that doesn’t mean they should. I always deal with call 1800 Truck Wreck if something happens on the road, they are rigorous at taking done in notes all the details, which can prove valuable against these corportations.

This corporation, like so many others (HSBC, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Countrywide, Enron, etc, etc…) is not acting in the best interests of the people of this nation. It should not operate in such a fashion. Yes, there’s shareholders to consider as part of a fiduciary responsibility, but that’s only due to laws that were written precisely to require that corporations behave like antisocial jerks at best and sociopathic mass murderers on other occasions – so as to increase profitability.

A corporation that puts all its emphasis on profitability is of no use to a people. We have massive problems in America and around the world because of corporations exploiting loopholes in laws that they’ve written in order to garner massive profits that would not have been otherwise possible. We will continue to have these problems if we do not change the fundamental nature of corporations.

Once upon a time, it was a felony for a person from a corporation to lobby a member of Congress. Once upon a time, owners of a corporation could be sued personally for the gross negligence of their company or its employees. With all the crap about teachers being responsible for things that are totally out of their control, how about we instead train those same cannons of responsibility on corporations and hold them responsible for the things that they actually can control, like pollution, high-frequency trading, collaboration with terrorists, funding nuclear weapons projects, and – yes – taking the side of the man that killed your sister for the sake of a few dollars’ profit.

NEW BOOK: Science, Drugs, Spirits, and Irony

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It’s here! It’s happened! It’s online and ready for your ebook reader! So go buy it! Like it! Tell others about it! But above all, BUY IT! I’ve been writing in my spare time, like a madman, instead of getting a second job that actually PAYS! Support your local writer! BUY THIS BOOK!

Here’s the link to assuage your guilt and to make you feel good about dropping $2 in my hat:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=L.%20Dean%20Webb&search-alias=digital-text

The Perfect Warrior

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General Fursthammer entered the research facility for his 10 AM meeting with Dr. Negron-Omikon. The USA needed the perfect weapon if it were to regain its supremacy in a world gone mad, and that is precisely what Dr. Negron-Omikon promised to deliver. Although his past results had been, at best, erratic, there was no question of his creative genius or of his ability to produce concrete results on time and under budget.

Which is why General Fursthammer had some mild concerns: this project was a month late and 7.63% over budget. It was not Negron-Omikon’s style. What else was not according to his style?

Dr. Negron-Omikon greeted the general with joyous good news. “This project is an unqualified success! You are so fortunate! Today is the day the perfect weapon comes into being, for the benefit of the glorious armies of the USA!”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Continue reading →

The Demise of the Texter

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Having just seen a set of videos of people falling into ponds and walking off subway platforms while texting, being a non-adopter of technology may prove to be an emerging evolutionary trait. Once all the quick adopters are killed off through successive waves of increasingly immersive technology, the ones left will be those that instinctively avoid gimmicks, which means marketers are doomed to extinction in the long run.

As additional evidence to support my point, the number of vehicular drownings has increased significantly as GPS devices gain wider use. That’s right. People drive right into lakes, oblivious to their surroundings and attentive only to the GPS voice.

Forget Skynet and Terminators: our computer overlords will just give us Angry Birds and texting.

Abstinence and Ebola

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Uganda has another outbreak of Ebola. The president there is asking everyone to refrain from touching anyone else for the duration of the outbreak. That is the only 100% certain way to avoid contracting the virus. If you’re currently touching Ugandans, you need to stop, NOW.

However, if you want to continue touching Ugandans, take precautions. Cover yourself head-to-toe in a biological warfare protection system. That should limit your exposure to Ebola.

This outbreak is serious business, and I truly do hope its impact is limited.

Becoming Intelligent

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Just as the G8 leaders posed for a commemorative photograph, the aliens appeared. Seven of them, fur-covered conical mounds with a dozen tentacles, each with an assortment of metallic devices.

Amid the gasps and exclamations, three of the aliens waved metal tubes, freezing the leaders’ bodyguards in mid-motion. A fourth alien waved a tentacle high above the top of his body mass and then squeezed tightly on a mass of spheres and octahedrons.

“Hello, cephalopoidal quadrupeds! We mean you absolutely no pain, infection, contusions, hematomas, dermal abrasions, or other forms of physical harm. We hope that our arrival will not result in mental anguish, angst, worry, or other forms of emotional damage, but we cannot guarantee your reaction. We hope for the best. We would like to know which one of you is pre-eminent, that we might discuss the fate of your world with that person as a negotiator with unlimited authority.” Continue reading →

A Nauseating Endorsement

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I’m going to have to vote for Obama and his associated gang of criminals come November. I say that because I cannot support Romney, due to the fascists in his close camp. Yes, I know that for the most part Obama and Romney themselves are virtually the same. However, it’s the people close to them that give me the pause that I have.

Both will bend over backwards to accommodate Wall Street. That’s a lost cause, as far as I’m concerned. The only way we’ll see Wall Street reigned in is if they don’t get Obama re-elected and he takes them down with him in his lame duck period.

So what about foreign policy? Romney’s got John Bolton in his corner, and that’s what made me come down against him. I hereby withdraw my offer to be his VP. This Bolton guy is a real spook, and I can’t be in the same room with him.

He’s been involved in Iran-Contra, denying reparations to Japanese-Americans interned during WW2, and has previously been owned by Taiwan. Bolton’s also one of the brain trust that decided it would be a great idea to lie to the American people to get the nation to invade Iraq. Bolton was also the guy that kept one and all from knowing the truth behind the connections between the CIA and international drug running back in Reagan’s days. The man is a fascist in cahoots with drug dealers, and that won’t do, see?

I’m very disappointed in Obama’s listless administration, but at the end of the day he’s still marginally better than Bush II. Romney’s embrace of the neocons would make him as bad as or worse than Bush II.

Of course, I live in Texas, so my vote probably won’t count. But I have a principle to uphold: I have to fight Fascism, even if it’s a losing battle.

This Better Not Get Me Fired

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The only way to guarantee that you will not get hit by a car is to lock yourself in a building, such as a house, and remain only in rooms that are not adjacent to the street or driveway. Abstinence from cars is the only way to prevent getting hit by cars. Don’t even get close to them because the risk exists when you get in their company.

If, however, you choose to engage in risky behavior like crossing streets, then be sure you limit your risk by looking both ways before you cross the street. Don’t step out suddenly into the street, particularly from behind a parked car or truck. Cross the street quickly and don’t engage in crazy forms of street crossing, like interstate highways or six-lane busy streets. Cross at the crosswalks, especially on busy roads. I’d rather you not cross the street at all, but if you do, do it safely. Limit your risks.

And if you want to drive, well, I’ll still love you even if you make that choice. But, please, PLEASE, wear a seat belt. Observe general traffic conditions, drive safely, don’t speed. And for goodness’ sake, DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE. Again, abstinence from driving is the only way to be 100% sure you’re not going to get killed by a car, but if you are going to drive, you need to drive safely. Limit your risks.

My advice can be analogous for other kinds of risky behavior.

Am I Still in Russia?

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I came home from Russia to see a news report of how Joe Paterno is being consigned to the memory hole. His public legacy is being effaced. His memory will not live on: like Leon Trotsky, he’s becoming a non-person in his homeland.

Then I saw a report about how gangsters in suits are running the nation from their big bank boardrooms. Kleptocracy is alive and well and is in Jamie Dimon’s guest house.

The food is better here, but that’s a superficial difference. I still feel like I’m under surveillance by an authoritarian government that maintains the trappings of democracy. And then, just as I wrote that, a propaganda blast from AARP broadcast itself to me. For what it’s worth, I wasn’t bombarded with propaganda in Russia, except in their Victory museums. So I suppose that’s the difference I needed to know about: if I’m under surveillance in a nation run by gangsters in suits where people can go down the memory hole, I could be anywhere. If, however, I’m being bombarded by unlimited corporate propaganda, then I’m in the USA.