Dear Mr. Obama,
How are you? I am fine. This will be a short letter. I hear that there were some bad things done by the Secret Service in Colombia. The news media are going a little overboard in their reporting, but I am glad that people are going to be punished for bad things that they did.
Could you please do the same thing for the bankers that wrecked our economy in 2008? I would like that. Also, please get the guys that wrecked the economy in 2007, as they are as much to blame. I think you should also go after anyone that wrecked the economy in 2009, 2010, 2011, and this year. They did bid things, worse than arguing with a Colombian lady about $40. All the energy we’re using to go after the Secret Service should also be directed against the financial people that did worse things to our economy than the Secret Service did to the Colombians.
I know many of them are your biggest political backers. That’s OK: They’re also Mitt Romney’s biggest political backers. Going after them can be a sign of bipartisan unity in a sadly divided nation. It will also lay to rest the rumors that both you and Mitt have been bought and sold by the financial industry and will do whatever they want, even if it means destroying the nation. I know I would like those rumors laid to rest. I hope you do, too.
Good luck with rounding up the rogue mammonai,