While I can’t reveal the contents of the tests I grade as an AP Reader, I can say that every now and then, a student chooses not to answer the questions on the AP exam and instead opts to turn the exam into a sort of confessional. Sometimes, those students are rude, flighty, pompous, panicked, or given over to the drawing of hand turkeys. Every now and then, however, I get a “Dear AP Reader…” message that I really appreciate.

Such was today’s case. The poor kid apologized for why she didn’t finish the exam. She explained it was because she’d missed lots of class time. She further explained that the lost time was due to a series of tragedies in the past semester, including crises that hit close to home.

Reading the four pages of explanation moved me. She wasn’t making this stuff up, believe me. After reading it, I had to sit back a moment and reflect on my own life and count my blessings. She’d taken a huge beating, but held firm and found her way through it. I really admire how she kept holding on to life and found a way to still be positive after everything it did to her. Believe me, I know what life can do.

At the end of her explanation, she told me to treat myself to a dinner, that I’d deserved it. I want you to know that I honored that direction. I went to Campanello’s here in Cincinnati and had a fantastic Spaghetti Carbonara that has worked its way into my list of the Twenty Best Things I’ve Ever Eaten. More than that, as I waited for my food, a little boy from the table next to mine kept running around and saying “hi!” to everyone. He had blond hair and was only 17 months old, so he easily reminded me of my son, Jarom, who left this world 9 years ago. I talked with a group of people next to me, including a couple that had been together for 43 years, so that easily reminded me of Yvette, my dear wife, my best friend, and my true love. A group of kids asked me to take their picture: that easily reminded me of my three lovely children still here with me.

Sure, the food was great. But taking the advice of that student that had been through so much helped me to realize how blessed my life has been so far and how wonderful people really can be. I love my family, I love the good people of the world, and I love the positive experiences we’re able to enjoy each day, if we just allow them to happen.

One should always take time to stop and smell the roses. I’ve got a lovely little rose bush by my driveway that’s been putting out roses every spring for over 20 years. Thank you, rose bush.

THE moon shines in my body, but my blind eyes cannot see it
The moon is within me,
And so is the sun.
The unstruck drum of Eternity is sounded within me;
But my deaf ears cannot hear it.
So long as man clamours for the I and the Mine, his works are as naught:
When all love of the I and the Mine is dead,
Then the work of the Lord is done.
For work has no other aim than the getting of knowledge:
When that comes, then work is put away.
– Kabir

Those who have read The Grapes of Wrath will really appreciate this poem.

America is supposed to be a land where any genius can have an amazing idea, dare to dream big, and make a fortune. He can make multiple fortunes, should he dare to dream appropriately large. Why is it that the dream always seems to involve big sacks of money? Why do we always seem to insist that a person of talent should use those talents to place himself in a part of the population that dominates the economy without giving back as much as it received?

I remember when I first wanted to be a teacher. It was in ninth grade. I had had some amazing teachers in my life and they were beginning to have an effect on me. I knew I was smart and that I could be an amazing teacher. I dreamed of teaching, not money.

I even tried not teaching in my life not once, but twice. In college, I started out majoring in chemical engineering. I kept the major for a year, but I never really had my heart in it. After teaching for five years, I quit because I couldn’t stand the Dallas ISD administration’s corruption and went into the IT sector. All the time I was making great money fixing computers, I wished I was teaching. In 2002, I took a 40% pay cut and kissed my $0 copay insurance good-bye and returned to teaching.

We’ve had some hard times financially in my family since then and every now and then I ask my wife if I should quit teaching and go back to IT. She tells me no. The money is not as important as the work I do. I’ve got a chance to live my dream, and I’m so thankful that she supports me.

I wish I could say the same for my nation.

At a time when a big chunk of the nation’s best and brightest were doing complicated mathematics to rip off millions of home buyers and investors, I taught in a classroom. The ripoff kings and queens were hailed on the news for giving new life to the American Dream, and I taught in a classroom. As the wealth flowed uphill from the poor to the rich and the rich found new and clever ways to not pay taxes, I taught in a classroom. As the crooks and cons paid for Senators and Congressmen, keeping themselves out of jail with intact bonuses, I taught in a classroom. As the people in the fancy suits plunged the nation into an economic state that truly warrants comparison to past economic collapses, I taught in a classroom.

Now the same people that ruined my nation are telling me there isn’t enough money to be found to provide for the poor in health care and education. What they call the American Dream was actually a disguise for their Old World rapacity.

We need to redefine the American Dream. It should not be winning the lottery. It should not be selfish. It should not be acquiring endlessly, consuming eternally. It should not be where, in the pursuit of money, we forget our humanity and souls.

The American Dream should be where, first and foremost, we help each other out of the goodness of our hearts. There will always be crooks that cheat their way to the top. We can’t stop them. But we don’t have to sing their praises, either. We may not be able to deny them their ill-gotten gains, but we can deny them the one thing they crave at the end of the day: legitimacy. Success is not found in a bank account. It is found in the guest list at one’s funeral. It is found when you’re scattering the ashes from The Living Urn. It is found in the hearts of people one has freely helped over the years. It is found in places far, far away from conference rooms and country clubs.

Although I reach at most a few hundred students each year, I know I have done much more to make my nation great than the CEO of Lehman Brothers. Even though I have made mistakes in my career, I have caused less ruin than the CEO of AIG – even though I have not been as handsomely compensated for my mistakes as that chap. When I encourage my students to do something, I am not as the CEO of Goldman Sachs, who had his company take up market positions that would profit when his clients went bankrupt. No, when I tell my students to do something, success is not found in a cashier’s check or stock price uptick. Success is found in the smiles of their little victories.

The American Dream needs to encourage service, not profits. Only then will we gain a truer perspective of how we should live and conduct our affairs as a people. Only then will our corporate and national morals be every bit as firm and fit as our personal morals. Otherwise, the American Dream will be unfit for reality.

I just awoke from a dream in which I was at some sort of hipster hangout with wi-fi. While I sat there, sipping a hot chocolate and enjoying a respite from the chill outside, I overheard a discussion between four people. Two were atheists and the other two were religious and both were making the sad mistake of trying to convince each other through arguments.

I could tolerate the discussion passably enough as they quoted Hitchens this and Augustine that, but when one of the religionists tried to use Karen Armstrong’s views to defend his position, I had to say something. Personally, I find Armstrong’s defenses of faith to be equivalent to a court restraining order: not very solid and easy to brush aside. I’m sorry, but I would prefer a theist whose views don’t seem so close to appending the prefix a- to one’s position.

It being my dream, I could expound at length on my ideas.

“Look, all of you, quit trying to use proof from philosophical arguments. It won’t convince the atheists because they have their own arguments and they will cause doubt, rather than true enlightenment among those who believe. Argument and doubt are both injurious, and what’s the point in hurting each other?

“Here’s my proof. Yes, proof. God is love. Love is God. If you’ve ever loved, you’ve experienced God’s influence in your life. There’s the proof, with all the implications for behavior with it. Ignore it if you want, because you’re free to do so, but you’ll still know deep inside that I’m right and that love is the key to what we need to do here.

“And as for the Old Testament, here’s the key to understanding that book and reconciling it with the New Testament. Nowhere is it written that the Hebrews were righteous as they left Egypt. In fact, Moses says quite the opposite. The acts they perform are not those of the righteous, but of the wicked sent to destroy the wicked. The good never destroy the wicked: they always flee from it. Abraham was righteous – he left where it was wicked. Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife rather than contend with her. Elijah sequestered himself from the wicked Israelites. They were righteous, in contrast to most of the rest of the people around them.

“The wicked destroy the wicked, the good depart when they cannot help the wicked become good. It is true among so many faiths, not just Christianity, because it’s a law of the universe. Mohammed left Mecca and its wickedness. Gandhi would not lift a finger in violence, but prayed for his enemies to recover their senses. Jesus spoke his words and then, being done with his work, died. It is the same with anyone else that initiates a great change in the world: Gandhi died after bringing independence to India. Mohammed died after cleansing Mecca and instituting the faith he believed in. In my own faith, Joseph Smith sealed his testimony with his blood, but only after he had established the faith he believed in. So it is with anyone truly seeking after perfect love that creates a new way.

“For those that follow in those ways, we do not argue. We testify of the truth of our ways and then provide instruction on how to better live with them. Take it or leave it, but it’s the right thing to do. Discovering love is discovering truth. Science teaches us that we do not ignore truth, but we bend or abandon whatever preconceived notions we have in order to accept that truth and everything it implies. When I discovered truth, I accepted it and changed my life to live with more love in my life. I could have done otherwise, but I would not be living in harmony with the laws of the universe.

“Did you learn nothing from Lao Tzu? Did you learn nothing from the Bhagavad-Gita? If you did not read them, then do so, for they have much to offer us. Lao Tzu teaches us to seek harmony with the universe. The Gita teaches us to abandon our passions and inertia and live our lives in doing our duty – in so doing, we find harmony with the universe.

“When we love each other, we are discovering what it is like to let God help us in our lives. When we surrender our imperfections and seek to love more perfectly, we approach greater harmony with the universe, which is what all true religion teaches us to do. Where there is destruction, there is wickedness. Where there is peace, there is God, meaning there is love.”

Having finished what I had to say, I awoke, leaving their world. Therefore, I gave the people of some world created from my dreams a new way to live. May it help them to find true love and harmony with their universe.

This is going to be a rant. I thought about what I’d like to say as my last words before I died and I realized I wanted more than just a pithy sentence. I plan to dish out the last wit and testament when I kick the bucket, should I be within earshot of anyone, but I have a lot more to say than that.

Hence, this rant.
Continue reading →

I’m taking a break from album reviews tonight to remember my friend Greg Hewlett, who passed away recently. In high school, I was more metal and he was more pop, but we were really good friends. He was diagnosed with cancer almost 30 years ago and fought it ever since.

But he didn’t just fight it… he moved beyond it. He earned 25 patents for his inventions after earning a graduate degree at MIT. More than that, though, he fulfilled our voting him “most likely to succeed” promises by always finding the silver lining to his problems. When his leg was amputated, he talked about being able to go skiing on one leg. He was always smiling and we didn’t really know his problems. He was aggressive about finding that silver lining.

He inspired me even back in junior high. I’m glad to have known him and I know I’m going to meet him again. Greg, you showed me that there is always a way to find a smile if we just see things clearly.

This documentary has been playing on LinkTV, but you can watch it all online with 1:15 at the beginning with a reference to Santo, the great originator of the social crusader Luchador, at Snag Films.

While there are brief scenes with strong language or adult situations, the movie itself is one that demands to be seen. It follows five masked wrestlers that fight against social injustice, poverty, pollution, and despair. Each has a different calling, but all take on the wrestling mask to empower their ideas with an identity that is immortal.

When masked, each man becomes a superhero not because of any set of powers, but because he puts his heart towards a goal and does not let any setback cause him to give up. The mask and costume enables each one to be tireless in his efforts.

I loved the documentary and the way it shows that anyone can choose to access a massive amount of positive energy. No matter our circumstances, we can always make a choice that changes our lives. These men show how to make that change for the better.

Taare Zameen Par is a wonderful, wonderful film about the importance of loving children, even if it means accepting their mistakes or letting them get their hands dirty. I found it powerful and emotional and loved every minute of Aamir Khan’s excellent film.

You will not want to watch this without facial tissues nearby. Have 2 boxes, just in case.

The story focuses on a young child with a learning disability, but in a broader sense, it takes a look at everyone caught up in the world. It’s a celebration of caring, of great teachers, and, above all, the arts. It was hard for me to watch the child suffer so much at the beginning, but I held on because I knew Aamir Khan was making a movie about redemption and celebration – no Rang De Basanti ending here. For those that haven’t seen that movie, it had a sad ending. For those that have seen that movie, you know “sad” is a gross understatement. No, Taare Zameen Par is, in the end, a happy film with a great sense of humor.

If you’re a teacher, involved in the arts, or a current or former child, you will want to see this film. I’d give it a PG because of some brief cursing of swears and the fact that things are really hard on the protagonist. For a great treat in your Netflix queue or local Bollywood movie store, get a copy of Taare Zameen Par and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

While at an AP Art Strategies conference today, I realized that although science presents an unflinching view of the world, it is often beyond the capacity of most people to understand at first encounter. The same can be said for many subjects that purport to tell us exactly what is around us – or that fail to provide answers about the big questions. Arts help us to come to a better realization and understanding of these grand concepts. Even though the arts can be mistaken in a view they adopt, even that mistaken view can aid in approaching the deeper secrets of science. The arts give us a context for analogies and metaphors so that we find ourselves more able to learn with the arts as aids.