Robert S. McNamara once said that a salient cause behind the failure of American policies in Vietnam was our inability to understand the motivations of our opponents there. We understood our opponents in the Cuban Missile Crisis, so nuclear war was averted there. We did not understand Vietnam, so we failed in our goal of securing a friendly, democratic government there. We now find ourselves in a new struggle with Russia, this time involving Syria. Proper understanding of the situation there is going to be vital if we want any hope of a peaceful resolution that all parties find acceptable.

Understanding Russia is simple in this case: they need to sell gas to Western Europe to survive. A pipeline from Qatar to Turkey through an Assad-less Syria is a cut across Russia’s throat. Who does Russia sell its gas to if not Europe? How does Russia survive if it does not get money from the sale of gas?

With survival on the line, Russia will risk even war to keep that pipeline from happening. Do we in the USA understand that? Are we in the USA willing to risk even war so that Qatar can sell gas to Europe and al-Qaeda can add Syria to the list of nations it has a free hand to operate in?

Dear Mr. Black,

How are you? I am fine.

I understand the governor of my state has upset you. I feel your pain. He upsets me, too. The difference is that while he only insults your state about jobs, he sells pieces of our state to his friends. You may be only very recently upset about Governor Perry: I have been upset about Governor Perry for quite some time, now.

However, when you take on an assault against my entire state for the actions of just one of its citizens – and a politician, at that – I am cut to the quick. You say you want to fight fire with fire. Well, that means comparing apples to apples. Since you come from the City of Apples, you should appreciate that.

Which New York politician do you have that could match Governor Perry in all his glory? Which political gasbag can we find under the rotting wood, being jeered at and spat upon by the cockroaches as unfit to be among their noble brotherhood? Who is it from The Empire State that is as grievous to behold as Texas’ Rick Perry?

As a disclaimer, I have to note that most recent New York politicians in the national eye are Democrats, which have a different sort of sleaziness and hypocrisy about them than do Republicans. When Democrats do their pandering, they speak to large crowds and offer feel-good messages. Republicans skip all that hooey and go straight for the big donors. The Democrats hit up the big donors, too, but they seem to like making more of a show about how they are well-liked by people they don’t give a shred of care about.

With that being said, has there ever been a USDA grade-A certified ocean-going class of numpty that has been governor of New York? While your current governor has seen fit to shack up with a Food Network host, I’ll agree that’s not as big of a numpty as Rick Perry. Let us consider his predecessors.

First predecessor is one Eliot Spitzer. I remember him! He’s the guy that paid $1000 per hour for prostitutes, repeatedly, right? Real winner, there, Mr. Black. That’s the kind of numpty that could go head-to-head with Rick Perry and put up a good fight. I didn’t say he’d win, but it would be close.

Then we come to George Pataki, a Republican. This guy was so awful that the New York Post said “good riddance!” the day he left office – and they were his supporters! Perry and Pataki match each other, blow for blow, and I think it’s fair to say that both of them have done far too little good for the time they have been in office. Surely, you would not want your state to be judged by the standard of George Pataki. Well, then, don’t tarnish all of Texas over just one Rick Perry.

But let’s also take a look at how Americans in general feel about states. In a Public Policy poll, 29% of Americans said they had an “unfavorable” opinion about New York. Another 32% were “not sure,” which is polling for “I don’t like you guys, but I’m too polite to say that to a poller I don’t know.” Kind of like when people measure racial attitudes. If a guy can’t come right out and say he’s got no problem with people of a different skin color then, yeah… he’s a racist. So we’ve got 61% of Americans that can’t say they love New York. Interesting. How about Texas?

Turns out, it’s the same, too. 61% couldn’t say they liked Texas, either. Even if we were to say that all Texans hate New York and love Texas and vice-versa, we’re still dealing with a pretty big Venn diagram of people that don’t live in Texas or New York that wish we would all just shut up.

Only 27% of Americans admitted to liking California. 44% of Americans came right out and said they hated California – no politeness there. California hate is serious business. This means the dislike you or I might have for California is what brings the nation together. Say what you will about Texas – and I will say what I will about New York, but we can all agree that California can tumble into the sea so that we’d never have to hear someone choking on LA pollution go on about how wonderful the climate is there. California’s so bad, even New Jersey was more popular. Not surprisingly, New Jersey came in at #3 on the most hated list. Illinois was second to California’s first place as “most hated state.”

And it’s not some goofy governor of California that tarnishes their name. It’s not even most of California. There are millions of good, hardy, worthy souls that live in California that are saddled with being attached geographically to the pits of Los Angeles. These guys want to secede from their smarmy neighbors down south – a sentiment many people in Texas can understand – and I don’t blame them.

In fact, if we break things down by cities, we find that Detroit is the most hated city in the USA. It’s gone bankrupt, though, so it’s no longer officially a city. It is now a very large lawsuit. That leaves Los Angeles as the most hated city in the USA, with Oakland hot on its heels. Interestingly enough, Dallas (my home town) and New York City are about equally hated by Americans, with New Orleans, Houston, Salt Lake City, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Las Vegas, Chicago, Cleveland, Washington, D.C., and Miami between us and Oakland. Hey, Mr. Black! Both our cities beat Cleveland in popularity! That’s pretty cool! Heck, we both beat Houston. That’s something we can all be proud of.

But getting back to the idea of lighting a candle instead of cursing the darkness, why should we come to verbal blows over the words of a doddering sack of uselessness that is Rick Perry? Let us unite, along with millions of overwhelming millions of Americans, and direct our venom towards a truly deserving target: LOS ANGELES.

Sincerely,

Dean Webb

Take it from me, you do *not* want cats in your production network environment. You especially do not want them in charge of cabling. Heck, you don’t even want them *present* during cabling. Although, I do confess that they make for good temporary heat sinks. They like to sit on warm equipment and soak up the energy. Even so, cats are not good in the server room.

Guy calls… Caller ID shows “Unknown Number”… I’m game. I answer.

“Hello.” Already I can detect the Bihari accent. This guy’s from India. “My name is John Peterson.” Lie. “I am from the technical support department for the Windows operating system.” Big lie. “Am I speaking with Mr. Webb?” Oh-ho! He’s got a directory!

“Yes,” I reply.

“We have been receiving notifications of many problems from your computer as you attempt to access web sites. We are calling to resolve those issues with you.” Oh really? I did not know that. How wonderful for him to have called me! “Are you at your Windows operating system computer?”

“Yes.” This promises great fun and sport, I can sense that already.

“What version of Windows Operating System do you have?”

“I have one computer with XP, one with Vista, and one with Windows 7.”

“Are you at your computer?”

“Yes.”

“Do you see, in the lower left corner, a button that says ‘Start’?” I guess that’s how he can make sure I don’t have Windows 8.

“Yes.”

“Please apply the left-click on that button.”

“OK.” And, yes, I did apply the left-click to the start button.

“Do you see a list of options?”

“Yes.”

He then proceeds to read off a list of options that I don’t have because I’ve configured my start menu to be like classic Windows. I know what he’s reading to me is for the default config on Windows 7. I don’t have that here. I tell him that I don’t see those options.

“Do you see a list of programs?”

I click on “Programs” and, yes, I do see a list. Three columns wide. No way am I reading all those off, even if I was a chump. “Yes, a long list of programs. Lots of them.”

“Do you see an option for ‘My Documents’ or ‘Computer’?”

Lucky me, I don’t. “No, I don’t have options for those.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am sure. Those options are not there.”

“Well, let us try a more direct method or way. Look at your keyboard. What button do you see in the lower left corner?”

“CTRL.”

“And what button is next to that? FN?”

“No, it’s ALT.”

“And what button is next to that?”

“The spacebar.”

“Don’t you have a key with a Windows logo on it?”

“No.” OK, so that’s a bit of a lie, but I prefer using keyboards without a Windows key, so since he’s lied to me, I get to play make-believe with him.

“There is no keyboard that does not have a Windows key!”

“Mine doesn’t have a Windows key.”

“You have to have a Windows key! Every keyboard made for the Windows operating system has a Windows key!”

“I’m telling you, I don’t have a Windows key. I’ve been using Windows since 1993, and the keyboards back then did not have a Windows key. My keyboard right now does not have a Windows key.”

“You have to have a Windows key! I am smarter than you!”

“Really?”

“Is your mother there?”

What does he need my mother for? “No, my mother is not here.”

“Are you at you at your mother’s computer?”

“No, this is my computer. My mother does not live here. I live here. This is my computer.”

“This is your computer?”

“Yes, this is my computer.”

“Well, I am calling from the Technical Support Department. Now you must listen to me!”

“The Technical Support Department from which company?”

“I have told you.”

“No, you just said you’re with the Technical Support Department. You didn’t say which company you’re with.”

“I’m with the Windows Operating System.”

“The Windows Operating System isn’t a company. Microsoft is a company. Hewlett-Packard is a company. IBM is a company. What company are you with?”

“I’m with The Geek Squad.”

“Hmm… I don’t have a Geek Squad account. Is this free support?”

“No.”

“So this is pay support? How much will it cost?”

“No, it won’t cost you.”

“Wait, so you’re giving me free support and not free support?”

“Stop confusing yourself! Listen to me! Minor problems we fix for free: major problems, big bucks!”

“So what is a major problem?”

“We will find out! Do you have an icon that says ‘My Computer.’?” Nice redirect, Mr. Non-Peterson. I’ll play along.

“Yes.” Looks like the blind squirrel found a nut.

“Please to right-click that icon and read to me the options.”

I right-click it and read the list, as I see it: “Open, Explore, Search, Map Network Drive, Disconnect Net-”

“Please click the option that says ‘Manage’.” Rude! He interrupted me!

Just as well. I didn’t have a ‘Manage’ option. I told him that.

“You have no ‘Manage’ option?”

“No.”

“Is this a special computer that your employer has especially built for you?”

“No.”

“And somehow, you have the *only* Windows Operating System in the world that does not have a Windows key, a Computer option or a Manage option?”

“It’s not the only one that doesn’t fit that description, you see-”

“Why don’t you go use your mother’s computer, you [obscene gerund followed by an obscene noun]!” And then, before I could reply, he hung up.

Pity. I was wanting him to ask me to click on something so I could rattle off one of the many Blue Screen of Death messages that I’ve memorized.

Oh well, now I have to let my mom know that a very angry Indian chap has ordered me to use her computer. Right before Mother’s Day, too. How thoughtful of the guy!

I make no mystery of it: I love taking tests that I’ve studied for. I appreciate a well-written test with difficult, yet doable, questions. I read up for the test, do labs, do my homework, do practice labs, and then I go for it.

This year, I’ve taken three tests so far. After starting my studies in January, I set a goal to have two CCNA certifications by the end of April. I am happy to say that I attained that goal. Now, I’m planning to do four more tests in the next three months to earn my CCNP-Security. These are tests that have a minimum pass score of 80% and the tests themselves are no slouches. They remind me of the AP exams in terms of depth and difficulty – and if a test-taker knows what he’s doing, they’ll drain him of information. No topic goes uncovered.

As a teacher, I’ve told countless students that reading, study, and practice is the key to successful learning. Now, I have another chance to apply that in my life. I believe I can do this. True belief leads to actions based upon that belief. Therefore, it’s time for some actions on my part. Onwards to the CCNP!

Long, long ago, when there was a stock market boom, lots and lots of people wanted to work at Microsoft. Its stock was going ever higher, and the company was famous for its generous stock options. True, there was the dreaded “stack rank” review procedure that turfed out a lot of good people, but, hey, the stock! Look at the stock! People signed on for the ride and enjoyed it greatly.

Then, the stock market turned. MSFT was no longer synonymous with magic or even growth. Microsoft had become a mature industry, and its stock price leveled off after dropping hard in early 2000. Microsoft kept its stack rank procedures, but now, there wasn’t any options fun to balance out the terror of a policy in which a certain percentage of the workforce was to be fired each year, usually because they didn’t have good relations with managers they didn’t report directly to.

Without the incentive to stick around in the form of stock options, a lot of talented people left the company. A LOT. Not all of the talent, but a significant chunk of it. New talent didn’t gravitate to Microsoft. Now, I hear people talking about it they way people used to talk about Novell… how it’s a shadow of what it used to be. It’s not the big industry mover that it was in 1999, that’s for sure.

What could turn the company around? Ideas. Where do ideas come from? Bright people that don’t want to be massacred by a stack rank policy in a car accident. The problem is that the policy is entrenched, the management doesn’t really listen to the workers when they complain about it, and the company as a whole suffers.

Moral of the story: don’t fire people for the sake of firing people in order to create a false sort of competition between workers. It doesn’t work.

I love finding music that I like. The latest round of searching took me to Hungary, in the 1970s. There was some great rock and roll there and then. I’m enjoying the bands Locomotiv GT and Skorpio. I’ve even learned some Hungarian so I can know the titles and sing along.

The best thing I take away from this is the joy of self-directed learning. Assign yourself homework to not just enjoy something, but to learn about what you enjoy so you can enjoy it even more.

Yesterday evening, a fertilizer plant in West, Texas exploded as a consequence of a fire there. The tragedy is real, and it is bitter to see.

My heart and prayers go with the injured and survivors. For those not from this part of the nation, under normal circumstances, West is a beautiful, happy town famous for its Czech culture and food. If I’m ever on I35, I always try to find a reason to stop by and share in the joy that town produces. I know they’ll recover and rebuild.

Bůh s vámi, krásné město, West. Bůh s vámi.

Just watched “Il Divo”, an Italian political thriller about Giulio Andreotti. Fantastic, mesmerizing portrayal of the seven-time PM of Italy, complete with his alleged ties to the Mafia, neo-Fascists, the Vatican, crooked bankers that wound up murdered, and even a goodly dose of clandestine Masonic lodges. Crazy thing is, this ain’t no Dan Brown novel: this is reality in Italian politics. “Il Divo” thrills all right, but it’s a biopic, not a fiction created from whole cloth.

The acting is top-notch, the soundtrack frequently delights, and the suits are AMAZING. First rule of Italy: look fantastic. Morals and ethics can come after that… The cinematography deserves a special mention for its stylization. It creates the proper feel for the film and never lets up. As a whole, the film is immersive, compelling, and – at the end of the day – great entertainment.

I had the film on my shelf, but hadn’t watched it until now, when the Vatican came under fire in its latest scandal, coupled with the election turmoil in Italy. I can’t say that I totally understand Italian politics now, but the insights from this film are most welcome and relevant.

Which do we live in? Apparently, according to the Texas state standards for social studies content taught in the classroom, or TEKS, we no longer live in a democratic society. It’s a constitutional republic. The word “democratic” has been scrubbed from much of the TEKS, to be replaced by the word “republic.” The partisanship behind this change is obvious. And while students still need to “analyze and evaluate the validity of… information… for bias, propaganda, point of view, and frame of reference”, every previous mention of “propaganda” has been struck from the TEKS. Are we to apply the study of propaganda to the TEKS themselves, then?

Given that the TEKS ask that we study the “leadership” of Nixon and Reagan and only the impeachment of Clinton, I think there are grounds to view the TEKS as a platform for right-wing propaganda. In them, America was never imperialistic and McCarthy was spot on in his witch-hunt… even though Americans previously decried our imperialistic adventures and the Venona documents show that McCarthy was dead wrong about most of his charges.

My biggest question is if I have to teach that we have always been at war with Eastasia or that we have always been at war with Eurasia.