Author Archives: deanwebb

If You Want to Understand the US Government…

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… read the Constitution. Don’t just read it to look at the words and then say, “there! I’ve read the Constitution!” Read it in character. Read it like a slave owner of 1787, seeking to protect his way of life. Read it like a New England businessman bent on securing protections for his aspirations. Read it like a Virginia planter, wary of surrendering his aristocracy to a democratic mob. In so doing, you’ll see that it’s a document full to the brim with compromises, tradeoffs, and concessions. Realize as well that that’s not a bad thing.

What’s bad is when the compromises, tradeoffs, and concessions come to a halt. Politics is the art of the compromise, the “art of the second best,” as one wag put it. We seem to have lost that art in American politics today. Both sides of the aisle are highly polarized, and legislation has ground to a halt. When extremist positions can halt the government of a nation, those positions force a crisis that either succeeds in giving them power or reduces them to irrelevance. The sad thing with that is when an extremist position gains power, it’s typically of an authoritarian bent. Fascists in Italy, Nazis in Germany, Communists in Russia and China, Khmer Rouges in Cambodia, Peronistas in Argentina, Militarists in Chile, Baathists in Iraq and Syria, Khomeini’s party in Iran, Nationalists in Egypt – the list goes on, if you’d like me to keep going, but I’ll stop here as I’ve made my point.

The United States is a special place on earth so long as we continue to be able to make deals with ourselves. That Constitution, written over two centuries ago, endures as a national bond only so far as we’re willing to make compromises and accept the tides of history as they wash over us. Our own descent into extremism over the slavery issue produced our nation’s worst war ever. In terms of repercussions, we still face the fallout of that war today. Although we don’t have any one issue that truly divides the nation today as slavery did in the 1850s, we have the partisans ready to seize upon any issue that, through division, enables them to make a bid for total power. This is a very unsafe place to be.

Now, if extremists aren’t really trying to gain total power and they’re not really extremists, we’re going to need some extraordinary proof to back up those extraordinary claims. Surrender a point or two. Make a concession. Give an inch. Let the government of America continue, inefficient though it may be. The continuance of government lends stability to the nation, and that stability translates into economic growth. We seem to actually have a slight recovery underway, but one more argument over taxes and spending that produces no results is enough to scare us into thinking things will get worse and then it’s goodbye, recovery. Historically, high levels of extremism coupled with hard times produce massive upheavals in government. We were lucky in 1789 that our leaders then weren’t ideologues. They were practical men and they did a practical business in Philadelphia.

Our current system, with the big money of corporations unfettered in the mass media and lobbyists and congressmen rife with corruption, has left the electorate feeling so unempowered that it produced the aimless “Occupy” movement. While there was a bit of excitement to actually have a street protest in the USA, the apathy was so massive that the movement failed to put forward a list of demands. It simply awaited the inevitable police sweep to clear the parks for some other bums to loiter there. The Tea Party was a genuine uprising as well, until the Koch brothers hijacked it to serve their own needs. We’re out of solutions when protest movements either fizzle or become co-opted and the legislatures refuse to compromise.

All we need for a massive crisis would be a galvanizing issue. The global economy could easily provide that issue in the coming year (or even the coming few months), and then we’d be in an awful fix. If the Republicans and Democrats collectively fail to reach a compromise to stabilize the nation, one side or the other may gain the presidency only to lose any ability to govern because of a permanently split Congress.

And that then prompts one more reading of the Constitution, this time as a modern extremist looking for ways to halt all changes other than the ones of his own faction’s choosing. Like any document, the Constitution is one whose words can be twisted to provide perverted meanings contrary to the spirit in which it was written. Our Constitution was written so a diverse group could co-exist peacefully and effectively through compromise and agreement. When we fail to compromise, we fail as a nation.

The Simplest Charity

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One of my favorite teachings I’ve gleaned from Islam is that smiling is a form of charity. I love that thought, and it’s something that’s universally true, I believe. It’s certainly where we can start giving to each other, and from it can follow so much other goodness.

Take some time to smile at other people today. I know that every time I’ve been smiled at by a random stranger as we pass by, I’ve had a better day. When a good friend or someone in my family smiles, it’s even better. If reading this makes you smile, I’m glad I helped in some way. If you go and start smiling at others because of this, then we may have a movement on our hands.

Or should I say on our faces? No matter: smile, and make your brothers and sisters in humanity feel better. 🙂

Joyeux Noel

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I love this film. It has been criticized for a sentimental bent and for not being as biting as Kubrick’s Paths of Glory, but the film still has a punch to it, before and after the quiet dignity of a moment of peace celebrated in the middle of a war.

There really was a Christmas Truce in 1914, and I see it as one of the most glorious moments of history, no matter how brief it may have been. The film looks at the consequences of the truce, and that’s the part that speaks volumes in its subtlety.

Basically, after the truce happened, the generals in charge realized that fighting would not happen, which would spoil their lovely little mindless war. There was absolutely no point to World War One, remember that. It was not a war to save anyone from anything. It was the ludicrous conclusion of jingoistic nineteenth-century nationalistic bombast. It was Europe attempting to commit suicide. It was a war that should have been cancelled. There was no justification for it at all, and there the soldiers were at the end of 1914, cancelling it. And that made the generals furious.

Soldiers were transferred to different fronts, units were disbanded, and officers were disciplined. In the film, all that is shown. It’s easy to shrug that off and say, “Oh well, no good deed goes unpunished. So what else is new?” The repercussions, however, are juxtaposed with the reverence and quiet joy of a mass celebrated in no-man’s land. That makes a key difference.

If peace on earth and good will to men are the words of Jesus – and truly, they’re also the words of Moses, Buddha, Zoroaster, Mohammed, and Lao Tzu – then what of the notion of “kill them all, every one?” Even if one rejects the notion of the existence of a Satan, the notion itself is a Satanic one. The governments and their state religions, educators, and civil servants in uniforms present an enemy to peace and good will. The men in those places hold power, and they use the threat of violence to compel otherwise good people to do things that maintain that power while exploiting or harming other people. This is something that was not unique to the world of the Great War. It is something that is a standard condition here on earth.

In essence, government is naturally the enemy of peace. In a blissful anarchy, it is the man who grabs a weapon to enforce his will that shatters the tranquility with the ugliness of despotism. Therefore, it is the duty of the righteous to provide an alternative to despotism in which justice and peace can prevail as much as possible for the people so governed. Sadly, what men can no longer seize from without they corrupt from within and what men created to ensure liberty and order becomes the very thing that destroys both. This message is conveyed quite clearly in the film.

Looking at the world of today, it is quite evident that no politician in the USA, not even my locally-elected representative, is truly working for the people. Each is beholden to interests that form a plutocratic oligarchy that I have no access to. To preserve the special privileges for those at the top, we here down below are made to suffer. It matters not who is in Congress or the Presidency or the Supreme Court: only those who will betray the poor in a Satanic bargain with the rich will be permitted to rule. The film shows that they will continue to do so, but hints to us all through the scenes of peace that there is a higher power and we are all accountable to it.

While those that promote the ideals of peace and good will are the dread enemies of the worldly power brokers, it is still worth promoting the ideals of peace and good will. One will never see massive wealth or great power through a policy of peace and good will, but why would one want that massive wealth or great power if it meant harming one’s fellow man? It is the Satanic bargain of murdering – even if only a little, through a lie or a cheat – to get gain versus the Godlike covenant of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you in order to have peace.

Educate Yourself, If You’ve Got Any Guts

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When I was in the 8th grade, I found a biography about Frank Zappa. I read it and it changed my life. It changed my life because of this quote:

“Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you’ve got any guts. Some of you like pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. Forget I mentioned it… Rise for the flag salute.” – Frank Zappa

I already didn’t like pep rallies, so this resonated with me. Then I thought about the “drop out… and go to the library” part. I knew dropping out wasn’t an option, but the library was right there. I took Mr. Zappa’s advice that day and resolved to educate myself. I decided I had the guts to do it.

30 years later, I’m glad I took that advice to heart. Never mind my college degree: my real education happened whenever a teacher went on a tangent, when I got a chance to listen in on a discussion, and when I got to hit the library. The best thing about the University of Texas at Austin was its massive library system. I used it. If there was something I wanted to learn, I made the time to get to the library and to read all about it. I didn’t necessarily need a class in a subject: after all, a class was pretty much reading books, listening to a professor rehash his own book, and taking a test. If I read the books on my own, what need was there to test to see if I’d read them? And if I read enough books, it would be like a graduate course, right?

With the advent of the Internet, I found it that much easier to continue my education. I hate seeing people sit and wonder about answers to questions while they wait for someone else to Google up the answer. Start with Google and Wikipedia, and see where it takes you, if you want to know the answers. They’re great places to start, but please make sure you don’t finish there.

Another key part of my self-education was the original 10-part series of James Burke’s Connections. The episodes are as vital today as they were when they first came out. If you haven’t seen them, you need to. Burke shows how anyone can teach himself or herself anything and then use that information to make his or her life better.

By “better,” I don’t necessarily mean making vast fortunes with huge inventions. I do mean keeping the wolf from the door through clever thinking and innovation. I mean having a good life through constant learning.

$7.77 Trillion of Your Money

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Bloomberg has obtained documents under the Freedom of Information Act that show guys like the Bank of America executive lying through their teeth. The banks were telling customers and investors that they were sound and solvent and doing just fine while they were, collectively, desperately borrowing trillions to cling to life. And, you guessed it, the execs kept their bonuses coming with those dollars.

The Federal Reserve is supposed to help provide liquidity in distressed financial markets. I get that. But these documents show that the Fed was picking winners and losers as they made their loans. They kept some firms solvent just long enough to complete buyouts – Wachovia and Bear Stearns were two such Fed-sustained comatose corporations. The Fed and the banks kept the loans a secret during the crisis and only released their information under a FOIA request.

The question is if these revelations will result in real regulation for the branch of organized crime we euphemistically refer to as “the banking industry.” Given the fact that the banks still have loads of cash to pay armies of lobbyists and you don’t, I’m not very optimistic about this leading to changes.

Little Ivory Lies

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The New York Fed posted an apology for not predicting the economic catastrophe that began in 2007-2008. Better late than never, right? Except this apology dodges responsibility…

The article describes how nobody could have foreseen the catastrophic events of 2007 and on. To be sure, nobody in the rational behavior, efficient market ivory towers could foresee them because their own ideology required that they be blind to market failures. They were weather forecasters that denied the existence of tornadoes and hurricanes; geologists that refused to admit that earthquakes can happen; doctors that could not imagine the possibility of an epidemic. They were useless, in a word.

No, they were worse than useless. They got politicians and academics alike to deny reality and to strip away protections that were necessary to keep disaster from happening. They encouraged a host of policies – subprime lending, home equity loans, no regulation for credit default swaps, et cetera, et cetera – that people not in power said would lead to disaster. Those who were in power became the biggest gang of criminals the world has seen by using their money and influence to have legislatures make their actions legal.

Many of us outside the government and outside the ivory towers saw the reality and knew we were in for a disaster. The double bubble in housing and government debt would lead to a major economic collapse. We called it. We couldn’t say precisely when, but it was obvious it was going to happen, and it did. We also made the call that Europe was coming apart economically and, well… see for yourself.

We live in an age of irresponsibility. People that hold power deny their mistakes with an arrogance that transcends logic. Heads do not roll. The intelligence failure of 9/11 cost more lives than jobs. The same can be said for the terrible destruction of New Orleans in the 2005 Hurricane. In this latest, economic disaster, the perpetrators of the crimes were, for the most part, rewarded. Madoff is doing time. Who else?

So the New York Fed issues its non-apology at 6PM on Black Friday… it’s even dodging the attention it should be enduring for shutting its eyes to the greatest financial disaster in 70 years. Worse, as an Economics teacher, I’m supposed to teach the stuff that got us into this mess like it’s accurate and useful. The establishment’s refusal to recant is particularly galling.

Irving Fisher was the biggest bull market booster in 1929. When he realized he was dead wrong, he abandoned his wrong ideas and developed a workable model for analyzing economic depressions. I can appreciate that. The current crowd has no such ability or desire to recant. It’s as mentally paralyzed as the Chinese Communist Party in the midst of the Great Leap Forward: ideology is more important than reality. We see this in the Fed and we see this in Congress. They tell us their little ivory lies, and even if we don’t believe them, we are bound by their vision.

Happy Thanksgiving, Wherever You Are

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Not everyone is with family on this day we here in the USA take stock of our blessings and things to give thanks for. Take some time today to say hello and share a message of hope and gratitude. I know I’m thankful for the joys I’ve had this year and the obstacles I’ve overcome. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Pelosi and Boehner: Speakers That Fall Silent

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While they’re ready to blather on about their policy agenda, as soon as they’re asked about getting rich with actions that constitute insider trading for the rest of us, they lose their silver tongues. It’s legal for Congressmen to trade shares based on information they’re privy to through hearings. Why is it legal for them? Look at who makes the laws. Yeah.

While it’s legal, it looks sleazy. Neither Pelosi nor Boehner don’t want to own up to it, but their bank accounts and asset portfolios tell a different story. It’s both sides of the aisle, too. If anyone tries to turn this into some kind of partisan debate, I’m going to respond with a blast of his or her favorite Congressmen and all of their peccadilloes. ALL of them are crooks until proven innocent.

The fact is that this is only one aspect of the corruption that is endemic in all of Congress. Lobbyists, pork barrel spending, iron triangles, and revolving doors make a more complete picture. The real kick in the head is that I have to call corruption “other contributuions” or “other services” when coaching my students on how to write for the AP exam. Our curriculum is essentially blind to the fact that there is a gravy train that starts at Capitol Hill and extends clear across the Washington Mall and intervening streets to the White House.

A Three Stooges Guide to the Republican Presidential Candidates

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If you’re not familiar with the Three Stooges, this whole article will go right over your head. If you’re a fan, this will make everything about the 2012 crop of GOP candidates make total sense.

I got this idea after seeing Rick Perry’s “Cornerstone” speech in which he really started to cut up. I thought, “wow, he really looks like Moe with a better haircut…” The similarities did not end there, so that’s where I’ll start.


Rick Perry as MOE

The similarity is uncanny. Both think they’re in charge of things, but the chaos surrounding them says otherwise. They like a firm approach to law and order and Perry’s execution record matches up eerily with Moe’s catchphrase, “Remind me to kill you later.” Both think they’re smarter than they sound.


Herman Cain as CURLY

Both have a lack of hair, both have a charming personality, and both are the most unpredictable members of their ensemble. Cain chants “Nine nine nine!” and Curly goes “Nyuk nyuk nyuk!” Cain was never a trained politician, and Curly was never trained as an actor. Cain has his accusations of impropriety and Curly also has a weakness for the ladies… Both are prone to bouts of rhyme. While Cain has had a few sharp outbursts to the press when they press him on matters he’s not comfortable, it is currently unknown if Cain will spin on the floor and attack bystanders like a berserker if he catches a whiff of Wild Hyacinth perfume or hears “Pop Goes the Weasel,” but if he does, Rick Perry and the Larry-Equivalent Rick Santorum should keep either a tassel or some Limburger cheese on hand to calm him down.


Rick Santorum as LARRY

Like Larry, Santorum has a dazed look, like he’s not completely aware of his surroundings. Yet, he’s there. By no means the most entertaining, it wouldn’t be the same without him. He lingers around, never challenging those around him without incurring massive retaliation… so he keeps quiet most of the time. Of all the candidates, Santorum is the one most likely to accidentally put his paint brush in a sandwich and drink paint like coffee without noticing the difference. That makes him the Larry of this gathering.


Mitt Romney as SHEMP

Of all the Stooges, Shemp had the most professional acting experience, and that seems to be the case with Romney. Shemp’s known as the “thinking man’s Stooge,” and Romney certainly appeals to the intellectual wing of the Republican party. Shemp never really caught on with the rough and tumble slapstick Stooge fans, and Romney definitely hasn’t ignited the imaginations of the rough and tumble base of the GOP. Even so, Shemp was part of the Stooges’ act before they made their short films and, like Shemp, Romney was a GOP candidate for the presidency back in 2008. Yet, when Curly disintegrated and couldn’t perform, Shemp was there. Should Cain fall away, guess who’ll be there… that’s right: Shemp Romney.


John Huntsman as JOE

While there are those that will argue about the merits of Curly vs. Shemp, Joe has few defenders among Stooges fans. He didn’t fit in with the other Stooges and, well, neither has Huntsman. Joe came from a different tradition, like Huntsman, and his style never quite dovetailed with the others. The least popular of all the Stooges, Joe shares a popularity rating in common with Huntsman. He’s a lot funnier on his own. So is Huntsman.


Newt Gingrich as CURLY JOE

Curly Joe came in very late to the Stooges lineup, when they were too old to slap each other around. He appeared in the live-action shorts with the Three Stooges cartoons and in the Stooges feature films. Curly Joe was both an elder statesman of the Stooges and completely irrelevant to what made them successful. That would be Newt Gingrich to a T.


Michele Bachmann as MISS HOPKINS

Incredibly good-looking, but there’s that crazy in the eyes… Both Michele Bachmann and Miss Hopkins (as played by Christine McIntyre, above) could win your heart while breaking your nose. Miss Hopkins is a character in the Stooges short, “Brideless Groom” and first appears around 7:00. But when she opens her mouth and starts talking around 9:57, it’s a massive barrage of crazy, kind of like what we know Bachmann’s capable of. She savages Shemp – kind of like how Bachmann really lets Romney have it – and finally lands a haymaker that sends Shemp reeling. Kind of a metaphor for how Bachmann, darling of many in the GOP base (at one time) acted as the base’s agent to show the door to Mr. Romney. Feisty, attractive, confused, and crazy, our Miss Hopkins is definitely the archetype for Michele Bachmann.


Ron Paul as EMIL SITKA

What’s this? You’ve never heard of Emil Sitka? Well, if you only watched the news, you’d know Ron Paul’s face, but you’d never hear his name. Nevertheless, Sitka appeared with the Stooges in so many shorts, he was known as “The Fourth Stooge.” He never got full credit as a Stooge, however. Paul has been in many political contests and has faithfully supported the Republican party but, guess what… he’s never gotten full credit as a presidential candidate. In the short posted above for Ms. Bachmann, Emil Sitka appears around 11:30 and soon utters his most famous tagline, “Hold hands, you lovebirds!” He repeats it over and over, in fact. Kind of like how Paul repeats “Audit the Fed!” over and over. That’s about all we remember either of these kindly old gents ever saying.

Well, that’s the GOP roundup. In my research for this article, I reviewed the full version of “Brideless Groom” and realized that it’s a powerful, powerful metaphor for the GOP presidential nomination contest. I plan to write a full breakdown of the symbolism and prescience of that short in a follow-up article.

Thank you for your time and nyuk nyuk nyuk,

Dean Webb