Category Archives: Ze Rest of Ze Ztuffm

Democratic Society or Constitutional Republic?

Which do we live in? Apparently, according to the Texas state standards for social studies content taught in the classroom, or TEKS, we no longer live in a democratic society. It’s a constitutional republic. The word “democratic” has been scrubbed from much of the TEKS, to be replaced by the word “republic.” The partisanship behind this change is obvious. And while students still need to “analyze and evaluate the validity of… information… for bias, propaganda, point of view, and frame of reference”, every previous mention of “propaganda” has been struck from the TEKS. Are we to apply the study of propaganda to the TEKS themselves, then?

Given that the TEKS ask that we study the “leadership” of Nixon and Reagan and only the impeachment of Clinton, I think there are grounds to view the TEKS as a platform for right-wing propaganda. In them, America was never imperialistic and McCarthy was spot on in his witch-hunt… even though Americans previously decried our imperialistic adventures and the Venona documents show that McCarthy was dead wrong about most of his charges.

My biggest question is if I have to teach that we have always been at war with Eastasia or that we have always been at war with Eurasia.

Confidential Surveys?

I just filled out a so-called confidential survey for my employer. It’s really not confidential. Aside from some details about me that could be gleaned from my comments, the survey asked for my location, gender, ethnicity, years at my employer, total years of experience in the profession, and for my specific department. Well, if that doesn’t triangulate exactly who I am, I don’t know what will. Even if it narrows things down to one or two individuals, I’m still in trouble if I don’t parrot the party line and say things a potentially vindictive superior doesn’t want to hear.

I’m not surprised. I’m not shrieking about the loss of the right of free speech: that ship sailed long, long ago. My point is that, nowadays, these surveys seem to be less about informing the higher-ups of what’s good and what’s not so good and more about giving them dictatorial-like approval ratings from employees that are too scared about their futures to come forward with anything other than “very satisfied” evaluations for their bosses and work environment.

Allow me to supply the Devil’s Dictionary definition of “confidential survey”: a measure of what percentage of one’s employees are living in fear.

Masked Wrestlers Save the Day

mayanzombie

Currently watching “Santo contra los zombies.” Clunky old black and white b-grade Mexican sci-fi film with cheesy special effects that totally blows away 90% of the garbage coming out of Hollywood these days. 100% fun, fun fun! And if ninjas beat pirates and zombies beat ninjas, then this movie gives hope for humanity: MASKED WRESTLERS BEAT ZOMBIES. Totally awesome news. I’m going to watch “Santo contra las mujeres vampiro” next and I’ll bet pesos to pollos it’ll be way better than any Twilight flick.

An Open Letter to People New to Conspiracy Theories

Dear lots of people that think Barack Obama is going to destroy democracy as we know it,

Hello. How are you? I am fine. I see more people these days noticing horrible things the government is doing and is capable of doing. Welcome to the club.

I’ve been crying in the wilderness since about 1985. The more I’ve read since then, the more I’ve hollered. I’ve been seeing trends towards maximizing power at the core of government for quite some time. I’m not alone, either. I’ve read books from around 1900-1912, when Americans first began noticing something seriously going wrong with the political-economic arrangements in the nation. The same problems those guys complained about have gotten worse over the last century. This is nothing new.

Since I’ve been doing this for some time, let me help you out with some lessons I’ve learned, so you’ll better deal with your new-found love of finding holes in the government’s claims and impending doom for our rights and freedoms.

1. Set personal limits. For me, it’s UFOs. Once a theory takes me to UFOs, I stop there. I also draw the line at Jesus having children (that one saved me a lot of grief when The DaVinci Code came out…), international conspiracies of religious zealots (Protocols of the Elders of Zion, anyone?), and anything that involves re-explaining basic principles of physics in order to work (so no flat or hollow earth theories for me). Set these limits now, because stuff comes along later that will test those limits. You’re going to be excoriated enough for your fringe views, so you want to make sure you don’t go off the deep end.

2. Be nonpartisan. Most of my research led me to conclude that Republican presidents were connected at the hip to Latin American death squads and that Democrats were guardian angels of the world. For a long time, that blinded me to how LBJ escalated US involvement in Vietnam, Carter fomented Islamic radicals in Afghanistan, and Clinton bombed Serbs to distract the nation from his extramarital affairs. By Clinton’s second term, however, I had started to see that party makes no difference. The power grabbers at the top have no loyalty to anyone but themselves. Therefore, banging the drum to beat down one party while ignoring the other one just makes you look myopic and foolish.

3. The little things are distractions you don’t need. Obama’s birth certificate is exhibit A. Seriously, this makes no difference at all in the grand scheme of things. You want to criticize the man and be taken seriously, go for his failure to close Guantanamo Bay or his use of drones to wipe out families in the desert at the wrong wedding party. The same goes for anyone that tries to argue the 16th Amendment isn’t ratified or that US judges have to have a gold fringe on their flags because they’re operating under British Admiralty Law. Even if you’re right, those aren’t going to amount to anything when you try to take on the major issues. Even the author of the 14th Amendment perjuring himself before the Supreme Court to get the notion of corporate personhood into US jurisprudence doesn’t cut it as a major issue. When that was revealed back in the 1930s, the court said it would keep ruling on that precedent, since it was the way they’d done it for 50 years. So drop the little things and go for the big issues.

3a. This is an important one: if my questioning George Bush’s AWOL when his National Guard outfit instituted drug testing was frivolous and pointless in 2000, Obama’s birth certificate is in the same dustbin of history. If you want to say that Obama shouldn’t be president, then you also need to stand ready to say Bush II was an usurper in the 2000 election. If you’re not ready for that, then you’re a partisan blowhard and you need to re-read #2, above.

4. Read some Howard Zinn. Please. The guy fought in wars, faced dire poverty, and still came out to be one of the greatest historians, ever. He’s done his homework and he knows his beans, so read his stuff and take a few lessons from him. Heck, I’ll read criticisms from the left, right, top, bottom, in between, and all around town. I won’t read ones from outer space (see #1, above). I may not agree with conclusions drawn, but I will thank one and all that bring new facts to my sight.

5. Make sure you’re not engaging in inflating citations. We all want two sources. A source that quotes an original source isn’t a second source, though. Getting a good primary source document is good, but make sure it’s not a forgery. But quoting someone that quotes someone else doesn’t mean you have two sources. You have one source, repeated. This involves more legwork and study to get your facts straight, but it’s well worth the time spent.

6. You need to read Alfred W. McCoy’s The Politics of Heroin. Next, you need to read Gary Webb’s Dark Alliance. Both of these guys did emeritus work in uncovering uncomfortable truths. They’ll put stuff on your plate that you never dreamed possible. For some advanced stuff, read the Attorney General’s report on Klaus Barbie and its mention of a “Vatican Ratline” and THEN go into some searching on Cardinal Krunoslav Draganovic to see how deep this stuff can go. After those things, it’ll put a lot of other stuff into perspective.

7. Find a moral center. I had to do this eventually, so you might as well do it now. I can’t change the world, but I can change myself and be a positive influence on the people around me. I love life and I love people in general, even though I don’t always understand them. My purpose in decrying injustice is not a national agenda, but an educative one. I don’t think I can change the way things are with my vote or a letter to Congress, but I can change the way things are in my community by being involved and taking care of those that need help. My moral center comes from my personal set of beliefs: your moral center’s mileage may vary, as it may very well come from a different source. That doesn’t bother me, as I know that anyone seeking to be compassionate is, at heart, a good person.

Hope this helps,

Dean

I Shouldn’t Have to Answer this Question

So, somehow, in my class today, the topic of Hitler came up. Two of my students insisted he was a genius. I don’t think they hold a properly informed view. Therefore, I’m going to present a case against the genius of Hitler, because I’m of the mind that the guy was a highly skilled politician, but that he did not have the genius necessary to offer a guiding philosophy to mankind.

So here goes…

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The Demise of the Texter

Having just seen a set of videos of people falling into ponds and walking off subway platforms while texting, being a non-adopter of technology may prove to be an emerging evolutionary trait. Once all the quick adopters are killed off through successive waves of increasingly immersive technology, the ones left will be those that instinctively avoid gimmicks, which means marketers are doomed to extinction in the long run.

As additional evidence to support my point, the number of vehicular drownings has increased significantly as GPS devices gain wider use. That’s right. People drive right into lakes, oblivious to their surroundings and attentive only to the GPS voice.

Forget Skynet and Terminators: our computer overlords will just give us Angry Birds and texting.

This Better Not Get Me Fired

The only way to guarantee that you will not get hit by a car is to lock yourself in a building, such as a house, and remain only in rooms that are not adjacent to the street or driveway. Abstinence from cars is the only way to prevent getting hit by cars. Don’t even get close to them because the risk exists when you get in their company.

If, however, you choose to engage in risky behavior like crossing streets, then be sure you limit your risk by looking both ways before you cross the street. Don’t step out suddenly into the street, particularly from behind a parked car or truck. Cross the street quickly and don’t engage in crazy forms of street crossing, like interstate highways or six-lane busy streets. Cross at the crosswalks, especially on busy roads. I’d rather you not cross the street at all, but if you do, do it safely. Limit your risks.

And if you want to drive, well, I’ll still love you even if you make that choice. But, please, PLEASE, wear a seat belt. Observe general traffic conditions, drive safely, don’t speed. And for goodness’ sake, DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE. Again, abstinence from driving is the only way to be 100% sure you’re not going to get killed by a car, but if you are going to drive, you need to drive safely. Limit your risks.

My advice can be analogous for other kinds of risky behavior.

The Bohemian Won’t Get a Three

With excessive apologies to Queen and, especially, Freddie Mercury…

The Bohemian Won’t Get a Three

Is this the real test, is this just fantasy
Caught by a proctor, no escape from reality
Open my test, when guessing, just go with C
I’m just a poor boy, don’t got no study guide
Because I’m easy come, easy go, get a five, get a fo’
Anyway the test goes, hope I can score at least… a three…

Mama, just took the test, put a pencil on my sheet
Bubbled “C” in nice and neat, mama
Thought this would be fun, but now I think I should have gone with “A!”
Mama, ooo, didn’t mean to make you cry
I think I’ll study for my test tomorrow
Study on, study on, or else it will not matter

Too late, the break is done
Time to start the FRQ, o whatever shall I do?
Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to go
And I don’t think I can do that question 2
Mama ooo (anyway the test goes) I just want a five
I wish I’d read that textbook after all

I drew a little silhouetto of a man
That is cool, that is cool now I write, “THIS IS SPARTA!”
Thunderbolt and lightning decorating section B
I do not know, I do not know, I do not know, I do not know,
I do not know how this goes! I do not know!

But I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me
(He’s just a poor boy with poor study habits)
(Can’t do the work, so he dazzles with his wits)
Even though I don’t know, how ’bout just a 4?
(Bismillah no we will not give you fo’!) just a 4?
(Bismillah, we will not give you fo’!) just a 4?
(Bismillah, we will not give you fo’!) just a 4?
(Will not give you fo’!) Just a 4? (never)
(Never give you fo’!) Just a 4, never get that fo’ ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia try a 3
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me – No THREE! – NO THREE!!!

So you think ’cause I got no clue you can’t give me a five?
‘Cause I’m lazy, never cracked a book I get no five?
Oh grader, can’t do this to me grader,
I’d love to get out, but I still got 20 minutes stuck in here…

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, Guess I should have studied, I won’t get that 3…
I guess I should have studied, guess I should have studied… for AP…
Anyway the test goes…