Category Archives: Ze Rest of Ze Ztuffm

The Demise of the Texter

Having just seen a set of videos of people falling into ponds and walking off subway platforms while texting, being a non-adopter of technology may prove to be an emerging evolutionary trait. Once all the quick adopters are killed off through successive waves of increasingly immersive technology, the ones left will be those that instinctively avoid gimmicks, which means marketers are doomed to extinction in the long run.

As additional evidence to support my point, the number of vehicular drownings has increased significantly as GPS devices gain wider use. That’s right. People drive right into lakes, oblivious to their surroundings and attentive only to the GPS voice.

Forget Skynet and Terminators: our computer overlords will just give us Angry Birds and texting.

This Better Not Get Me Fired

The only way to guarantee that you will not get hit by a car is to lock yourself in a building, such as a house, and remain only in rooms that are not adjacent to the street or driveway. Abstinence from cars is the only way to prevent getting hit by cars. Don’t even get close to them because the risk exists when you get in their company.

If, however, you choose to engage in risky behavior like crossing streets, then be sure you limit your risk by looking both ways before you cross the street. Don’t step out suddenly into the street, particularly from behind a parked car or truck. Cross the street quickly and don’t engage in crazy forms of street crossing, like interstate highways or six-lane busy streets. Cross at the crosswalks, especially on busy roads. I’d rather you not cross the street at all, but if you do, do it safely. Limit your risks.

And if you want to drive, well, I’ll still love you even if you make that choice. But, please, PLEASE, wear a seat belt. Observe general traffic conditions, drive safely, don’t speed. And for goodness’ sake, DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE. Again, abstinence from driving is the only way to be 100% sure you’re not going to get killed by a car, but if you are going to drive, you need to drive safely. Limit your risks.

My advice can be analogous for other kinds of risky behavior.

The Bohemian Won’t Get a Three

With excessive apologies to Queen and, especially, Freddie Mercury…

The Bohemian Won’t Get a Three

Is this the real test, is this just fantasy
Caught by a proctor, no escape from reality
Open my test, when guessing, just go with C
I’m just a poor boy, don’t got no study guide
Because I’m easy come, easy go, get a five, get a fo’
Anyway the test goes, hope I can score at least… a three…

Mama, just took the test, put a pencil on my sheet
Bubbled “C” in nice and neat, mama
Thought this would be fun, but now I think I should have gone with “A!”
Mama, ooo, didn’t mean to make you cry
I think I’ll study for my test tomorrow
Study on, study on, or else it will not matter

Too late, the break is done
Time to start the FRQ, o whatever shall I do?
Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to go
And I don’t think I can do that question 2
Mama ooo (anyway the test goes) I just want a five
I wish I’d read that textbook after all

I drew a little silhouetto of a man
That is cool, that is cool now I write, “THIS IS SPARTA!”
Thunderbolt and lightning decorating section B
I do not know, I do not know, I do not know, I do not know,
I do not know how this goes! I do not know!

But I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me
(He’s just a poor boy with poor study habits)
(Can’t do the work, so he dazzles with his wits)
Even though I don’t know, how ’bout just a 4?
(Bismillah no we will not give you fo’!) just a 4?
(Bismillah, we will not give you fo’!) just a 4?
(Bismillah, we will not give you fo’!) just a 4?
(Will not give you fo’!) Just a 4? (never)
(Never give you fo’!) Just a 4, never get that fo’ ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia try a 3
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me – No THREE! – NO THREE!!!

So you think ’cause I got no clue you can’t give me a five?
‘Cause I’m lazy, never cracked a book I get no five?
Oh grader, can’t do this to me grader,
I’d love to get out, but I still got 20 minutes stuck in here…

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, Guess I should have studied, I won’t get that 3…
I guess I should have studied, guess I should have studied… for AP…
Anyway the test goes…

The Cult of Personality in History

I am watching the film, The Fall of Berlin, a 1948 Mosfilm production, and it is an amazing historigraphical experience. First off, the actors are not listed in order of appearance, but hierarchically. The man playing Stalin is given top billing, followed by actors portraying high political and military officials, on down to the actual lead Russian peasant roles, finished off by the actors playing the Germans (boo, hiss!). The credits are proper Soviet yellow-on-red, and just in case one was wondering what was most important in life, the main character – who was born on the day of the October Revolution – is awestruck by the presence of Stalin.

When told that he will visit Stalin in honor of his attaining a world record of steel production, our hero is gobsmacked. “What will I say to Stalin?” he asks in his panic. His boss reassures him. One does not speak to Stalin! One listens to Stalin! But of course.

While everyone else has doubts or failings, Comrade Stalin – played by one of his real-life body doubles – remains cool as a cucumber through the whole picture. Soviet generals demand 150 tanks and 3000 anti-tank rifles: Stalin tells them 15 tanks and 200 rifles will do the job, if used carefully and wisely. Hitler rants and raves about attaining his goals: Stalin comprehends all and is sure of his eventual victory. Goering plots secretly with Allied industrialists to sneak raw materials into Germany: Stalin deals with them plainly and foursquare in the open. Hitler runs his nation into the ground: Stalin saves his and delivers it from evil.

The extremity of Stalin’s Christ-like portrayal is fascinating to study. While terribly ugly in its implications, it is nevertheless a lesson worth enduring. As a film, The Fall of Berlin has some cool action sequences you won’t see in the CGI spectaculars of today: Comrade Stalin ordered several divisions of the Red Army to participate in the battle scenes. While the dogfight scene over Moscow was shot with scale models that are obviously so, the symbolism of the scene is not lost on the astute viewer who knows that the poor production values of that part of the film symbolize the poor production values of Nazi Germany. Maybe. If I was living in the USSR in 1948, that would be my defense if I was stupid enough to criticize the film.

One colonel that did criticize the film wound up in the Gulag for eight years. Better to praise the film, yes?

Watching it made me reflect on the cults of personality developing in America and how they warp our views of history. We have legends, true. Washington and Lincoln both never told lies, from what we can gather from legendary and apocryphal sources. Those are ancient myths, though, and only serve to buoy up modern cults.

The first real cult of personality in US History is that of FDR. He worked the media hard so that many people in America loved him. Regardless of his actual legacy, he got the message out that he was one of the best presidents the nation ever had, and a lot of people believed him. That legacy remains with us today in his depiction on our coins and our popular mentality. His bespectacled grin decorated with homburg hat and cigarette holder has a certain friendly ubiquity in our national conscience.

The next cult is the one that casts a shadow over our day: Reagan. His visage is used again and again on the Right to impose a symbol of their triumph. Reagan the man does not enter their political calculus: they have room only for Reagan the myth. They recall always “Morning in America” and never Iran-Contra, Ed Meese, or US support of heroin rings in Pakistan (IE, the Pakistani Army and the ISI). Reagan is always The Great Conservative and never a president that raised taxes, ran up the deficit, and quadrupled the national debt in his administration. This sort of whitewashing is as dangerous to us as was Stalin’s whitewashing in Soviet Russia.

It shackles the mind with error and places belief in a man over historical realities. Reagan is not God. He is not Absolute. He is not Messiah. Reagan was a fallible man, who presided over one of the most corrupt administrations in US History. I won’t argue over whether or not the man had great accomplishments: I’ll allow them, for the sake of argument. But none of those accomplishments would justify complete ignorance and setting-aside of his presidential failures. None of them justify the mythology that has grown up around his name and face.

Clinton may well become a myth of the Left one day, as a two-term exponent of their greatest hour (lately). The Left hasn’t been very symbol-oriented of late, outside of Obama’s “Hope” posters of 2008. Perhaps that’s why they won then and are drifting now. In 2012, they lack a symbol and, therefore, they lack a cult.

The Right is ready to supply a cult. Fox News is tailor-made for hagiographic treatments of any True Conservative that steps on their doorstep. They’ve propagandized and exalted some truly terrible choices for president and made them out to be Reagan’s True Successor. Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, and, finally, Rick Santorum all took a turn as the One True Conservative. Every one of them benefited from Fox News’ and other heavy hitters from the mainstream right-wing media praises and near-deification.

Which makes me wonder… is one reason they begrudge Romney due to Romney’s not wanting to have a cult of personality? All the other candidates accepted that sort of fawning adoration, but Romney rejects that. This is bad news for America if Romney loses in 2012. It’ll mean that a GOP candidate MUST have a massive cult behind him to get him close enough for a chance at victory. Bush II had a cult: McCain did not. If a cult-less Romney loses 2012, Fox News and other conservative mouthpieces will savage him and set the stage for a culted candidate in 2016.

I find all this ironic because Mormons are frequently referred to as being in a cult. Yet, here I am saying that Romney was the only GOP candidate this year without a cult-like mentality driving his campaign. In the interests of disclosure, I’m a Mormon, but I’m only going to support Romney if he names me as his vice-presidential candidate. Until then, I’m not backing him. Now, if I were in a cult, wouldn’t my cult leaders be telling me to vote in a fellow cultist to control the USA? Of course they would: that’s what the GOP is telling its membership. No matter how much you dislike Romney, to be a true GOP-er, one must dislike Obama even more.

While that’s not all that hard to do from a political standpoint, it’s even easier to do from a mythological standpoint. There’s some ugly thinking on the Right, and Obama plays as a villain to every racist, misogynistic, fascist, homophobic, plutocratic, and other hate-driven ideology that has attached itself to the GOP. I’ve got many good friends in the Republican Party that deserve not one of those adjectives, but the fact remains that the GOP needs their votes in order to win, so it has to sing songs they want to hear. A cult of personality makes those songs easier to sing.

And that brings me back to Stalin. He solidified his position with a cult. He was able to commit genocide and destroy the rights of his people with a cult. The cult turned off critical thinking, which is vital to confront our earthly leaders with, and enabled Stalin to enact his grand wickedness.

If we have a president elected from either the Left or the Right with a cult-like backing, then that is the seal on the doom of America. For if the GOP loses in 2012, expect their cult to win in 2016. That will force the Democrats to follow suit in 2020, and then neither party will run a campaign after that without a massive propaganda campaign, complete with suppression of dissent.

As a professional dissenter, this worries me greatly. It’s bad enough seeing a 1948 film that glorified Stalin. I saw films from 2007 and 2008 that glorified Putin. I don’t ever want to have that sort of historigraphical experience with an American film, but we’re headed that way.

Reagan’s Blood

Reagan’s Blood is for sale online. This is insane, but not unexpected. Neither is the pseudo-religious outrage from those on the Right that still want Reagan to run for a third term or, failing that, have him sainted by way of a constitutional amendment. “It’s an outrage!” they cry, “Where is his basic human dignity?”

Bought and sold in your precious free market, that’s where. In my book, anyone that wants to make an appeal to basic human dignity for a dead president needs to do so for the living poor that have been trampled underfoot by the deregulation of things that should have stayed regulated.

Yes, regulation keeps innovation from happening. It also criminalizes activities that exploit other people through force or trickery. Would anyone like to go back to when medicine was unregulated? Would anyone want to have no regulations on pollution? If you don’t want it in your back yard, you shouldn’t insist that some one else have it dumped in his back yard because his property values are lower and he can’t access lobbyists or Congressmen the way a rich man does.

I’ve heard free market wonks say that EVERYTHING should be free to buy or sell. EVERYTHING. That disgusts me. There are things we should hold sacred, above the value of money. Putting a price on things demeans them.

No, Reagan’s blood should not be bought or sold in a free market. There oughta be a law, I know… of course, one can still get around that law by simply ignoring it and hoping one escapes justice for that crime. Ideally, we wouldn’t need a law if we were a moral people. Our biggest problem is that we idolize the sociopath and want him to run our companies and our governments.

Ironically, it was Reagan’s gang that really opened the gates for the sociopaths to run wild. Now we have a pathocracy, rule by the dangerous.

Choose what you want, but as for me, I choose morality.

Imagine Facebook in 2020…

… it’ll be every bit as big in that year as MySpace is now. Graphic shamelessly copied from ZeroHedge.

If the popularity curve fits, wear it. In this case, the tail of Facebook hits around 2020. Unless FB has some kind of rabbit to pull out of its hat, it’s peaked and is going to ride a curve that’s on its way down.

Maybe that rabbit is increasing popularity in India, where FB viewers are worth about an eighth of what they currently monetize at in the USA. I doubt it, though. Most of the new users in India are going to be young mobile users, and the monetization of the mobile platform is next to nil on FB. I know this because I use the mobile version on my PC to keep from having all the blasted ads and recommended pages on the sidebar. I also use it so I don’t have to endure the travesty of the “timeline” format, which I abominate. I love every social media platform and often suggest my colleagues take assistance from marketing service providers like Marketing Heaven to build a prominent presence of their business online.

FB page looks more and more like a MySpace page used to look right around the time when everyone started hating it. People are already gaming FB with public and private FB pages – one for the future bosses and strict parents, the other for wild and crazy guys, hoping that the latter page never emerges in a search for the former. Compartmentalized pages can only mean one thing: the increase of the sleaze factor. It happened to MySpace, it happened to Yahoo Groups, it happened to Geocities, it happened to newsgroups… (bonus points if you remember newsgroups).

That’s why I’ll always keep my current website. I’ve had it since 1999 in one form or another. I’ve had *a* website since 1995. I get to customize it to look the way I want it to look and as long as I pay the bills, the content stays up and the content stays mine.

To all the kiddos out there that think the Facebook is the bees’ knees and will never die out: Kids, I’ve seen ’em come, and I’ve seen ’em go. Microsoft used to be the evil empire, once upon a time. Now it’s Google. Apple under Jobs found a way to be briefly relevant from time to time. Novell used to dominate the server OS market. “Cloud computing” used to be called “dumb terminals and mainframes.” Facebook, too, shall pass.

Beware of Cheapoair.com

As in cheapoair.com… Thankfully, I only bought two tickets there for a one-way commuter flight. They made the total price for one ticket look like the total price of two tickets. In reality, the one ticket they sold me was $20 more than it would have been on Kayak.com. (This was travel in Russia, by the way, which is why I didn’t go with Priceline or Hotwire.) Worse, I couldn’t pick seat assignments from a list of available seats unless I was willing to shell out $11.95 per seat!

These guys are deceptive and I plan to avoid them as much as possible in the future. I hope I don’t wind up with a nightmare like I’ve seen other people go through with this company.

An Open Letter to Pat Buchanan

Dear Mr. Buchanan,

How are you? I am fine. I hope you’re coping with unemployment OK. Losing a job can be tough. I feel for ya, bro. Really. I do. Even though you earn more being unemployed than I do as a teacher, I can still have a little compassion for you. Of course, you should learn from your mistakes.

Making anti-Semitic comments is a no-no for most employers. Making homophobic comments are also not good. Racist comments have been known to get people in trouble with HR. Combining all three in a book titled The Suicide of a Superpower and having a chapter in it called “The End of White America” is generally a career-ender. And how do you put that on your resume? Who’s gonna hire you after writing the American version of Mein Kampf?

And it’s not that you’re not free to express those kinds of sentiments in the USA. You are. We’re also free to think they’re disgusting and that they have no place in our public dialogue. I’m a decent guy and I got nothing for it. Nobody’s offering me massive speaker fees or huge book advances. Yet, I also don’t get ejected from polite circles for being a horrifying racist. At the end of the day, my soul is intact, and I’m glad for that.

Yes, Pat, you’re free to be that guy. You’re also free to change your mind and learn to love and tolerate the way Jesus taught us all. Or Moses. Or Mohammed. Or Zoroaster. Or Buddha. Or Gandhi. Or Lao Tzu. Or Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Do you see a pattern here, Pat? Or do you want your legacy lumped in with Goering, Goebbels, and Hitler? Because that’s where you’re sitting on the ideological bench right now, Pat. You’re free to choose, but we’re also free to not agree with your spew of hate.

Good luck in getting your soul back from Satan,

Dean Webb

Come and See (Иди и смотри)

This is one of those movies one only need see once, and the imprint is forever made. There is so much in the film, based on eyewitness experiences of the Byelorussian genocide during World War II, that one cannot approach it with a brief summary.

It’s not easy writing about this imposing film. It’s not something as simple as Saving Private Ryan or Apocalypse Now. It’s much, much more. Saving Private Ryan was pretty much soldiers storming Normandy and making their way into France to hold a bridge against all odds with a cameo by Ted Danson. Personally, I found the premise of the film insulting, as it basically created a situation in which the lives of one group of soldiers were considered to be worth less than the lives of the one Private Ryan. It’s one of the reasons why I cringe at the prospect of seeing another Spielberg movie. He’s got his moments, but his films overall leave me feeling manipulated.

Apocalypse Now is another overrated film. Better to see the documentary of how it was made… but the soundtrack in the main film makes no sense at all. The thick synthesizers sound more appropriate for a cartoon. Martin Sheen works out all right as the Marlowe figure, but Coppola should have gotten Klaus Kinski to be Kurtz. He should have also gotten Werner Herzog to direct. The fact that I can address both Apocalypse Now and Saving Private Ryan is testament to their accessibility and to the difficulty in confronting Come and See.

I cannot be dismissive of Come and See. I cannot find the adjectives to address it. It is more than a tale of a young man that joins partisans: in its two hours, it stands in stern judgment of offensive war and those who advocate it. It does not allow excuses, nor does it permit the so-called Nuremberg Defense: “We were only following orders.” The Russian auxiliaries, the SS, the regular Wehrmacht, all of the Nazi thrust to wipe out the Russians are there, and all are guilty. There are no beautiful cameo actors to stride across stolen scenes. It is as if the Russians rose from the earth and the Germans emerged from the mist to battle for their lives, and we are there to see it. There are no fancy special effects: the bullets are real, the bombs are real, and the toll on the actors is real.

The film was shot in chronological order, so one watches the aging effects of the war on the film’s main actor. When he appears greyed, shattered, wrinkled, and broken at the end, we do not see a Hollywood makeup job. We see an actor that lived as his character did for nine months – starving, marching, harrowed by the sights around him.

Much of the dialogue in the film is delivered head-on from actors confronting the camera, looking directly into our souls. The music aids the psychological heaviness and impact. The film is so involving, we don’t have time to think “my, what lovely cinematography!” It’s every bit as involving and demanding as Das Boot, but with the added burden of being a documentation of genocide.

Come and See is a film that demands to be seen and then reflected on. It is not entertainment. It is a conduit for pondering, questioning, and a search for answers.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Madoff,

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Madoff,

How are you? I am fine. I heard on the news that you were both very sad after you found out that Mr. Madoff’s fraud was going to be public. Sudden publicity can be shocking, so I can understand why you both might be depressed. What bothers me is that you did not feel sad enough to not perpetrate the fraud in the first place.

I’m not saying that I’m perfect. We’re all human, and it’s human nature to make mistakes. It’s also human nature to sometimes do bad things. When we do a bad thing, though, we’re supposed to be sorry for it and to try and undo what was done. You both, however, used the court system to try and keep some of the money you had basically stolen from others. Because the US Government accepted the plea, you both now get to keep some of that money. This is bad because it is not good.

Your scandal made lots of other people very sad. Many of those people are still sad. They are deeply and profoundly sad. Some of them thought that the deep and profound sadness was behind them after they got out of the Auschwitz murder camp, but you found a way to shatter their peace and security in their last days on earth. When I tell people about how life can be unfair, I will be sure to use that as an example, Mr. and Mrs. Madoff.

I don’t think I’m being overly judgmental to say that what you did was bad and that you need to try harder to make it right. You’ve still got some of that money and before you say you need it to live off of, think about what the people that you made very very sad are going to live off of. They were planning to live off of the money you are living off of.

I hope you both choose to make things right while you still have time. As long as you’re alive, you can change and do the right thing.

Please try harder,

Dean Webb