Top 10 Things Not to Say at an Interview

10. "Woe to you , O earth and sea, for the devil sends his beast with wrath, because he knows his time is short.."

9. "You have got to be the ugliest interviewer I've ever had. How do you live with yourself?"

8. "Are employees allowed to smoke marijuana in the parking lot?"

7. "Just fill up a cup with sugar and pour some coffee on top of it…"

6. "Could you more precisely define 'convicted of a felony involving moral turpitude'…"

5. "WHOO! If I'd know it would've been that stanky, I wouldn't have cut it!"

4. "I really enjoyed this time to interview with you. Hail Satan, Prince of Darkness!"

3. "Your benefits stink, but I can't get hired anywhere else, so what the heck, huh?"

2. "OK, so if I smoke dope just one time in the company parking lot, you're gonna fire me? Fascists..."

...and the NUMBER ONE THING NOT TO SAY:

"Huh? You say something? I was napping, there..."