{"id":2201,"date":"2017-09-15T11:08:43","date_gmt":"2017-09-15T15:08:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/?p=2201"},"modified":"2019-07-17T05:57:12","modified_gmt":"2019-07-17T09:57:12","slug":"the-internet-of-no-fun","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/?p=2201","title":{"rendered":"The Internet of No Fun"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Little Bobby rushed in with the speed and joy that told the world he was five and a half years old and loving it. &#8220;Dad! A drone fell into our backyard! Can we keep it?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dad leaned out to the right to look at Bobby around his monitor. &#8220;Hold on there, sonny&#8230; have you done a VA scan on it?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Bobby looked at the ground the way only a five and a half year old whose dreams were being confronted with harsh reality could do. &#8220;No&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What is our rule about bringing devices on to our wireless network?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No devices on the network until we&#8217;ve done a VA scan.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And we&#8217;ve either patched or otherwise mitigated the vulnerabilities.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And we&#8217;ve filed the change request documentation.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;&#8230; And?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And we&#8217;ve got the change window scheduled, gosh, dad, you make all this no fun!&#8221; Bobby looked like he was ready to cry. Or update his resume and start looking for a new dad.<\/p>\n<p>Dad knew that it was pretty much the same everywhere. Not wanting to see any turnover in the kid department, he worked on a consoling angle. &#8220;You think this is no fun? Then maybe it&#8217;s time I had you sit with me doing all the qualification testing so you&#8217;ll see just how much no fun this is for me, too!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The shared experience reminded Bobby that he was in this together with everyone else. It&#8217;s not uncommon for five and a half year olds to express contrition and Bobby did just that. &#8220;Sorry, dad&#8230; I&#8217;ll go fire up the Kali Linux box&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;There&#8217;s a good boy. Daddy has to go to a meeting now with Uncle Frank about next year&#8217;s family IT budget.&#8221; <a href=\"https:\/\/boostpoorsignal.com\/das-monitoring-maintenance\/\">DAS integration service<\/a> sounded a very reasonable idea.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Are we gonna get a new firewall?&#8221; That exuberance again. Kids sure do bounce back, don&#8217;t they?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, we&#8217;re still paying for Grandpa&#8217;s unexpectedly high syslog generation, but I think we might get a new firewall in Q2 next year.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Bobby ran laughing down the hallway. &#8220;Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The meeting with Uncle Frank went well and Dad was happy that there were a few more goodies in the budget besides the firewall that he&#8217;d be able to announce at the family Q4 wrap-up meeting on 25 December. Dad had just enough time to type a few lines of code and then Sara stomped in the way only a 13 year old expecting to be disappointed could do. &#8220;Dad, can I go to a friend&#8217;s house now?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Did you finish ringfencing all your old wearables?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Exasperation permeated the room. &#8220;Yes. Dad.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;OK, did you also wipe the config on our old perimeter router like I&#8217;ve been telling you to do for the last three days?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes. Dad. I did it. It&#8217;s all wiped. Are you happy?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sara, don&#8217;t take an attitude with me or you&#8217;re not going out.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sorry.&#8221; Not very sincere, but a dad couldn&#8217;t expect much better from 13 years old.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;All right, that&#8217;s better. Which friend did you want to go see?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Veronica.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dad was concerned. He really didn&#8217;t want Sara hanging out with Veronica. Veronica&#8217;s family didn&#8217;t have very good change management processes and it was common knowledge around town that they weren&#8217;t necessarily up to date on their patch management. &#8220;I would be happier if she came over here.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh God, not this again.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, Sara, you tell me. If I try to RDP to Veronica&#8217;s family&#8217;s domain controller, am I going to get blocked, or am I going to get a login screen?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dad, they have a really secure password on it!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s not my point, Sara. You know as well as I do that I shouldn&#8217;t even be able to reach that server, let alone via RDP. Now am I able to reach that server or not?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Fine. You win. I&#8217;ll just rot away here.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sara, that&#8217;s not a win for me. I just want you to be safe, that&#8217;s all. Even if you left your cell phone home, your shoes are still exposed. As are your pants, your shirt, those earrings, am I right?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sara rolled her eyes with the wild, limbic-system fueled thinking so prevalent amongst the 13 year old set.<\/p>\n<p>Dad tried to persuade. &#8220;And what happens to the rest of your clothes if the ones you&#8217;re wearing now are compromised?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dad! That happened ONE TIME when I was eleven! Why do you have to keep bringing it up?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, you seem to be on track to have it happen again, when you&#8217;re 13. I&#8217;d rather not have to deal with another breach.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What. Ever.&#8221; Sara exhaled hard, but then had an idea. &#8220;What if I put all my clothes on airplane mode, will that be OK?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dad considered. That was reasonable. &#8220;OK. You put them all on airplane mode and you can go to Veronica&#8217;s. Get mom to take you, though.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;She can&#8217;t dad. She&#8217;s on a sev one TAC call with the refrigerator vendor. There was a problem with our proxy and now the licensing on the fridge is all messed up.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;OK, let me just wrap up this IPS signature modification and I&#8217;ll take you, just as soon as I get it into production.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dad was ready to get out and drive around for a while, anyway. Drive wasn&#8217;t really the right word, since the car did it all itself, but it was best to have a parent go with a kid, just in case. Gary Rasmussen&#8217;s daughter knew how to hack past parental controls on cars and could go pretty much anywhere unsupervised. Then there was that fight that Linda Hartford&#8217;s son got into where he and that other kid, Jerry something or other, kept hacking the speed governors on each other&#8217;s cars so they&#8217;d barely crawl. Having a parent ride along tended to keep those kinds of teenage shenanigans from happening.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Little Bobby rushed in with the speed and joy that told the world he was five and a half years old and loving it. &#8220;Dad! A drone fell into our backyard! Can we keep it?&#8221; Dad leaned out to the right to look at Bobby around his monitor. &#8220;Hold on there, sonny&#8230; have you done [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-complete-fiction","category-security"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2201"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2383,"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2201\/revisions\/2383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zzzptm.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}